They’ve Taken Him Away

Posted on March 30, 2015 by dogtorbill | 1 Comment

It’s always startling to look up from the pews and not see the image of Christ up behind the altar. Many churches place a veil there during Holy Week, or even the entire 40 days of Lent, to aid in our Lenten journey of “doing without.” Apparently this is an ancient custom, another tradition packed with meaning and symbolism. It arose during the earliest times, reminiscent of the Jewish temple curtain, “torn in half,” at the moment of Jesus’ self-sacrifice. (Mt 27:50-51); (Mk 15,38); (Lk 23,45).

My German brothers I met on the Camino call this veil the Fastentuch, or “fasting cloth.”

Everything in the Church has meaning – everything we do, everything we say, every object and every action. They either are truth, or they represent/remind us of scripture, or a calling to reverence for our Lord. This is the essence of the “tradition” that is so confusing to those looking in, and mis-represented by so many “leaders” outside of the Church to their respective congregations.

From “crossing ourselves” to a Crucifix on the wall. From Holy Water to statues. From memorized prayers and a liturgical form of worship to vestments worn by the ordained. Even if your own faith tradition doesn’t understand the relevance or scriptural basis for “traditions” such as these, certainly you can see the beauty in provoking a deeper atmosphere of prayer and reverence.

So anyway, the inner curtain of the Jewish temple separated the inner sanctum, the Holy of Holies, from all of us.

And so, this tearing open of the curtain with the death of Jesus opens up access to the inner sanctum, and we now may enter into our own relationships with Him.

The Lenten Veil separates the community from that image of Jesus we grow so familiar with, and tend to take for granted. There are many places where any display of this symbol representing the very heart of our faith are forbidden, and actually subject to severe punishment. When we look up and see the Cross of Jesus gone, it pulls viscerally, and creates a longing. It symbolizes an emptiness of life without our faith, without Jesus. We are truly alone, and life has lost all of its meaning.

This is a form of physical penance, of fasting. The vernacular term “starving” thus refers not only to material poverty, but to a spiritual nakedness of facing life alone, the futility of suffering for no reason. Again, life loses all of its meaning.

Wikipedia affirms it in its German edition:

The somber custom is believed to come from a 9th century German practice of extending a large cloth called the “Hungertuch” (hunger cloth) before the altar from the beginning of Lent. The cloth – which hid the altar – was not removed until during the reading of the Passion on the Wednesday in Holy Week – at the words, “the veil of the temple was rent in two.”

The building and placement of a fast cloth was – as a religious – with a few exceptions Tradition maintained until the 18th century only in Catholic areas, as Luther against this tradition of religious art pronounced as “Gaukelwerk”. Although they once extended far beyond the original boundaries, they remained after the Reformation obtained only in the formation bidding; occasionally there are still churches that maintain the tradition. However, it appears that the Lenten veil is being rediscovered as an art form, and many Protestant churches now participate in the custom.

And so as we joyously and jubilantly welcomed the Messiah Yeshua into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, we progress through the most holy of weeks.

We are encouraged to commit to our own sacrifice. If we’ve never “given up” anything for Lent, or if we’ve failed to keep good on that intent this season, its time to recommit for these last seven days. Again, it’s not what we sacrifice, its that we sacrifice. And it’s not for Him, it’s for us. Some small reminder of what should really be important in our lives. Something that forces us to pause, to focus, to imagine being without.

Most certainly Jesus knew how the week would end – the suffering of His Passion, the panic and despair of his followers, and their jubilant ecstasy of his victory over death at His Resurrection. As we remember and desperately miss our beloved family and friends who have departed, we take much consolation in the confidence that our Lord has torn open that curtain, embracing them as they enter to the other side.

Much Love. Have a Blessed Holy Week, 2015.

Prayer, Parking, and Presumptions – (How are prayers answered, anyway?)

Posted on March 8, 2015 by dogtorbill | 2 Comments

The father of the bride was becoming frantic. He sped up and down the lanes of the church parking lot, but there were no parking spots. The wedding would start in four minutes! Time for bargaining. “I know I skip church on game days, or when the bass are biting, or when I just want to sleep late – never again! – I’ll go every Sunday! FIND ME A PLACE TO PARK!!! I’ll never look away when a beggar needs a few dollars. I promise! Ok, Ok, I’ll even go to my in-laws next weekend. AAARRGGGHHH!!! JUST FIND ME A PLACE TO PARK!!!” Two minutes to go, and the car ahead backs out, opening a place to park. “Never-mind God, I found one!”

Image result for parking space picture

Are prayers answered? How? What IS prayer, anyway? What is it for you?

Is prayer simply asking God for favors? Is it begging, pleading and deal-making from a “fox-hole?” Or is it a two way conversation? Certainly, the mystics claimed to hear the voice of God. Saints Francis of Assisi, John of the Cross, Ignatious, Therese, Bernadette, and many more, wrote volumes sharing what they heard God say.

When I was walking the Camino de Santiago as part of my grieving process, I wanted desperately to hear Charlton Heston or James Earl Jones booming from the clouds, but was met with silence. However, a few hundred miles into the journey, it became clear that our Lord speaks to us in many, many ways. That clumsy first attempt at blogging described dozens of these “encounters,” apparently quite common on that pilgrimage.

But you certainly don’t have to travel to Spain to encounter God in a very real way. Many/Most of you may grimace at the idea of God “talking to you.” Even the “churched,” especially if their faith consists of “checking the box” every Sunday, or even twice a year, may cringe at the idea of someone who claims to hear the voice of God. SNL skits come to mind ridiculing Jimmy Swaggart and Oral Roberts. But without “hearing the voice,” can we really get answers?

Answered prayers are news-worthy, because they surprise us. Headlines, movies, and books are often written to describe cured cancer, inexplicable near misses, and unlikely rescues. These re-invigorate the faithful. Which is good. Except…

Why would you pray, if you didn’t honestly feel He was listening, cared about you, and was anxious to have these “encounters?” If we really believe our prayers could/will be answered, then why is it newsworthy when they are?

prayers

Perhaps we simply don’t know how to listen. Its almost as if we hold out for an answered prayer to be accompanied by a vision, a voice, an apparition. But, really. If Jesus of Nazareth is really and truly here with us as we walk each step, every day, perhaps we should express a bit of common sense.

Was the father of the bride (above) expecting an explosion and a new parking lot, with the glowing Christ to be directing him into a parking place? Wouldn’t a much more logical explanation be that He “directed” the driver of the exiting car to have business finished so they could leave when they did, so you could pull in just in the nick of time for the nuptials?

Likewise, how would the creator of the universe, create the universe? Wouldn’t you expect it would be so through a natural phenomenon? How absurd would it be for a big bang to cause itself?

Thomas Aquinas called it the First Cause Argument.

If there is no first cause, then the universe is like a great chain with many links; each link is held up by the link above it, but the whole chain is held up by nothing.

If there is no independent being, then the whole chain of dependent beings is dependent on nothing and could not exist.

For the smart aleck out there who thinks Steven Hawking adequately addresses this, I’ve read Hawking’s refutation, and even though he’s probably lots smarter than me, he misses the entire point. He dismisses (see also addendum A) a “caused big-bang,” because:

You can’t get to a time before the big bang, because there was no time before the big bang. We have finally found something that does not have a cause because there was no time for a cause to exist in.

But therein lies the problem, Christians (as well as most other faithful types) believe God is omnipresent (has always existed), and, in fact, created time, when He created stuff, and non-stuff (space).

It’s the whole “time-space-continuum” thing that makes me as dizzy as that ridiculous quantum physics class (that greatly contributed to my insanity). Einstein’s insistence to keep asking, “What if…” results in (see also addendum B) his Theory of Relativity, and at least a profound theist belief in a Gd who directed creation. (addendum C).

Image result for maker of the universe picture

Time and space are characteristics of our world, not God’s. He is not limited by hours, days and years as we are. In fact, the Bible tells us that “with the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day” (2 Peter 3:8).

And so, if God is “timeless” and not bound by the concept which in fact, we believe He created, it follows that He sees all past, present, and future on the same page – all at the same time. Therefore, we believe that He knows each of us intimately at the very instant of conception, when we are instilled with what we call a “soul.” He knows each of our decisions, beliefs, rejections, and our final destiny. “Clearly this all becomes fuzzy,” especially when we consider Calvin’s treatment of Gods omniscient knowledge of our choices and therefore our destination. And since God made us this way, including the part of our brain which makes decisions, Calvin had it all figured out with his five pillars – only a “few are chosen,” therefore, most of us are in a bit of trouble. But it’s not our fault, and we (obviously) didn’t really have free choice. (That’s Calvin’s bent, clearly not mine).

I realize my line of reason seldom takes a strait line trajectory…

If, in fact, God is timeless, and we truly believe God can affect and effect the course of outcomes (possibly by giving us additional opportunities to make new “free” choices which change the course HE sees otherwise happening), then it seems to me quite plausible to take this a step further.

Since He sees past, present and future all together, can not He favor our petitions, effecting a change, even if we pray for something after its course has already been determined? Let’s think about this with a simple example…

Suppose you prayed for an exam scheduled for today to be easy. You were at the hospital all night with a sick mother, and never even studied. You knew the test was important, and offered up your petition at her bedside. Our Lord considered your position and … obliged. You were THRILLED to see such an easy test. Every question had an easy answer – it seemed like common sense. Not only are you thrilled, your confidence in God, prayer, and faith has been affirmed … UNTIL … The teacher announces that she had had commitments yesterday, and so prepared the questions the previous week – long before any prayers had been offered up. Your prayers couldn’t have been answered, due to the timing. It was just an easy test.

Or perhaps you’re on a sailboat and encounter an unexpected storm. Treacherous waves, unrelenting wind, sounds eerily similar to the hurricane you remember so well. For hours, all you could do was lower the sail. The craft was awash, waves cresting well above and over the deck. Heading into the wind she finds herself “in irons,” and the captain can only lower the sails, and hope the tiny auxiliary motor can keep some semblance of control. Soon the storm has passed, but out of fuel, you can only drift with the current, and after three days encounter the friendly shores of an unintended island. Haha, you knew you could do it, and you never really felt in danger. So exciting, so exhilirating. The adventure of a lifetime.

However, unbeknownst to you, literally hundreds of thousands of family, friends, and strangers had offered up prayers for your safety. The fact that the petitions were offered AFTER the storm was over made them, of course, “wasted effort.” Or were they? Could the Creator-of-the-Universe have, in the aforementioned time-space-continuum, have considered the petitions about to be offered up, and changed the course that miserable storm was to have on you even before the fact? Could the winds have finally relented, as you reached a current that would drift you into safety?

How are prayers answered? I think in many ways. And I purport that our questions and needs are addressed in many different ways as well. Perhaps its presumptuous of us to assume that we have the cognitive ability to know the ways of the same Creator-of-the-Universe. We don’t really expect to hear a deep, resounding human voice from the clouds, do we? We would be stunned if that actually happened, so clearly we anticipate other forms of response.

We believe that God is love. Not simply that He loves. Not simply that He, through His Son, showed us how to love. But rather, that God is love. Emmanuel – God is with us in the love that we feel from others, and for others. 164,882 people praying for my daughter, expressing love for a complete stranger in need, is in fact, the pure manifestation of God’s love and evidence that in fact, He is with us.

Much Love.

Thank You.

addendum A: Hawking’s argument of gravity’s role in the bang assumes that gravity somehow existed before the Big Bang, yet Hawking then goes on to maintain that nothing, including God, existed before the Big Bang. Hmmm … Hawking’s logic is selective.

addendum B: <Planck?> Non Euclidian Geometry evolves into the concept of the “tesseract,” and eventually his Theory of Relativity.

addendum C: although he rejected the Hebrew (and Christian) notion of a Gd with whom one has a personal relationship, and involved in each of our own personal decisions and destinies.

And What if There Was No Religion

Posted on February 1, 2015 by dogtorbill

Everybody knows that religion is the cause of all suffering, and most, if not all wars. Everybody knows that, right? It’s clearly a fact to the “experts” and “enlightened” who seem to be the first to comment with authority to every news article and blog post (including mine) where religion is presented in a positive light. It’s one of those claims repeated so often that when we hear it during some social conversation by the resident know-it-all, we just let it pass, because we don’t know any better. Well, lets go to school.

According to the Encyclopedia of Wars (Phillips and Axelrod), of the 1,763 major conflicts in recorded history, only 123 of them can be classified as having been fought over religious differences. That’s less than 7 percent. Further, the number killed in these conflicts amounts to only two percent. This means that even when wars have been fought over religious disputes, they tend to be less bloody than when they are fought for other reasons.

Lets dig into our own American memories. The American Revolution, World War I, World War II, Vietnam, Korea; none of these wars was fought for religious reasons. In fact, the bloodiest and most deadly wars of recent history were demonstrably motivated by something other than religion: out of whack nationalism (WWI), anti–religious fascism (WWII), and atheistic Communism (Korea, Vietnam, the atrocities of Stalin and Mao).

Even the atrocities in the name of Islam: We’re constantly reminded that Islam is a peaceful religion, and that all the current atrocities in her name are a “few” zealots, who do not represent the teachings of Mohammed (and therefore, supposedly, of Allah). Let’s go with that, because it makes us all feel so much more comfortable. I’ve heard something similar about Hitler, who was raised Catholic, and seemed to focus most of his vitriol on the Jews. (Even though hundreds of thousands of Catholics also lost their lives, including over 16,000 priests and nuns). Just because someone claims to be a faithful member of a religion while “acting out” most certainly does not mean they represent the religion, or that it is the position of their claimed religion. (Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi’s strong pro-abortion positions certainly don’t mean the Church sanctions such atrocities).

And, of course what about the Inquisition and the Crusades?

To non-Catholics the Inquisition is a scandal; to Catholics, an embarrassment; to both, a confusion. It is a handy stick for Catholic-bashing, simply because most Catholics seem at a loss for a sensible reply. Defense of atrocities of another time and culture is not the intent here. A comparatively objective Inquisition discourse can be found here.

What must be grasped is that the Church contains within herself all sorts of sinners and jerks, and some of them do obtain positions of responsibility. Paul and Christ himself warned us that there would be a few ravenous wolves among Church leaders (Acts 20:29; Matt. 7:15).

Some fundamentalists suffer from the mistaken notion Church “membership” includes only the “elect.” For them, sinners are outside the doors. Locate sinners, and you locate another place where the Church is not.

The crusades are like much of our best intentions as human beings -A noble idea, but when humans are involved, lots of mistakes will be made. This is also well beyond the scope of this post, but Weidenkopf attempts to make some sense of it all in his new book, summarized in these posts. Each Crusade was different, some were glorious in intent and outcome, some much less so.

With apologies to John Lennon, who wrote lots of catchy love longs and changed music in our culture forever, the “living for today” in Imagine, translates in our world as “can’t we all just get along?” But he was no philosopher, and clearly no intellectual giant. “Imagine all the people, living life in peace” is about as naive as the COEXIST bumper sticker. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s a lofty ideal, I’m not here to shove my beliefs down anyone’s throat, but I’ll gladly explain why I know mine are the truth for me. (I may think they’re true for you too, but souls were never saved by winning an argument). Anyway, back to Imagine (no heven, hell, or religion) and COEXIST – Just remember how wrong the other Lenin and Mao-Tze-Tung proved to be (weren’t these their goals also?)

Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today…

Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace…

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

Again, this whole lofty ideal thing has proven absurd, because too many people are “in it to win it,” and think it’s “all about me.” The human condition, freedom to make the wrong choice, and concupiscence from the fall. Whatever you call it, whenever we live with this as the ideal, it translates as “survival of the fittest,” and “the one who dies with the most toys – wins.”

This sounds like such a cool way to live, until you actually think about it, and what’s important. And what’s not.

You see, most of us pretty much do live in our “imagined” life – for today, where there’s no heaven or hell or religion.

But for discussion’s sake, let’s imagine no religion.

Lets forget a millennium of science, where the Church was directly responsible for optic lenses, the calendar, (believe it or not) the big-bang theory, and (contrary to Church-hating legend) scientific mapping discussing a round earth. Sophomoric focus on Galileo having been under “house arrest” misses the point that the Church was simply maintaining that helicocentric theory (actually initiated by neither Galileo nor Copernicus, but rather Aristarchus in the 3rd century) had simply not been “proven” (nor was it for over a hundred years after his natural death), and prohibited his teaching it as fact. Surprisingly, it was Lamarck, (later read by Darwin) who first theorized species mutation and natural selection, and the Augustinian monk Gregor Mendel who founded the science of genetics.

Perhaps the greatest single contribution to education to emerge from Catholic civilization was the development of the university system. Early Catholic universities include Bologna, Paris, Oxford, Salerno, Vicenza, Cambridge, Padua, Naples, and Vercelli. By the middle of the 15th-century (more than 70 years before the Reformation), there were over 50 universities in Europe.

Starting from the sixth-century, the Church in Europe also developed what were later called grammar schools and, in the 15th century, produced the movable type printing press system, with incalculable benefits for education. Today, it has been estimated that Church schools educate more than 50 million students worldwide.

Art, architecture, music, philosophy, jurisprudence, and languages. Contrary to popular prejudice, extraordinary and influential women have been one of the hallmarks of Catholic civilization. The faith has honored many women, such as St Hilda & Blessed Hildegard von Bingen, abbess and polymath. Pioneering Catholic women in political life include Empress Matilda, Eleanor of Aquitaine and the first Queen of England, Mary Tudor.; many of the first women scientists and professors: Trotula of Salerno in the 11th century, Dorotea Bucca, who held a chair in medicine at the University of Bologna, Elena Lucrezia Piscopia, the first woman to receive a Doctor of Philosophy degree and Maria Agnesi, the first woman to become professor of mathematics, who was appointed by Pope Benedict XIV as early as 1750.

Whew! But what about now? Is the Church/religion really relevant today? Was she just an altruistic pioneer in the Middle Ages? Hmmm, I think not.

Catholic Charities in the USA alone provide services to over 9 million people, and are the 4th largest charity, much bigger than the United Way. Lutheran Services is invaluable as well. Despite their huge size, these two religious non-profits distribute among the highest percentage of donations, over 85%, with less than 15% going to salaries and distribution networks.

Maybe I try to cover too much in some of these posts; I’ve barely glossed over a few positive impacts religion has and has had on the world, and those were just a few of the secular ones.

A common theme I find myself going back to time after time is the head-scratcher of so many folks who claim to be “spiritual but not religious.” I think that’s a bit like “playing tennis without a net,” resulting in a kind of spiritual narcisicism.

In Orthodoxy, Chesterton critiqued the Quaker notion of the “Inner Light,” but his words just as easily apply here:

Of all conceivable forms of enlightenment the worst is what these people call the Inner Light. Of all horrible religions the most horrible is the worship of the god within. That Mr. Jones shall worship the god within him turns out ultimately to mean that Jones shall worship Jones.

Christianity came into the world firstly in order to assert with violence that a man had not only to look inwards, but to look outwards, to behold with astonishment and enthusiasm a divine company and a divine shepherd. The only fun of being a Christian was that a man was not left alone with the Inner Light, but definitely recognized an outer light, fair as the sun, clear as the moon, terrible as an army with banners.

Spirituality without religion goes hand-in-hand with another modern religious trend: moral therapeutic deism (MTD). Even more popular with today’s youth than “low riding” jeans, MTD eschews revelation, religious commandments, and formal worship in favor of a divine Santa Claus: He’s out there somewhere, he wants us to be nice, but he gives us presents even if we’re naughty. As with unregulated spirituality, the chief moral principle of MTD—be nice to others—relies on the subjective (and thus infinitely and conveniently flexible) interpretations of the “believer.” What’s nice for you isn’t necessarily nice for me.

Small surprise, then, that a recent sociological study published in the journal Criminology found that young people who self-identify as “spiritual but not religious” are more likely than their religious peers—whether spiritual or not—to commit crimes.

“Calling oneself ‘spiritual but not religious’ turned out to more of an antisocial characteristic, unlike identifying oneself as religious,” said Baylor researcher Aaron Franzen, a doctoral candidate and study co-author.”

The researchers’ remarks focused on possible sociological reasons why self-identified religious folk commit fewer crimes: shame, fear of divine judgment, greater investment in family and community, and so on. But although there may be merit to such theories (though they turn a blind eye to the most obvious reason: grace), they don’t account for the most shocking finding of this research: “spiritual but not religious” group was also more likely to commit crime, and to display anti-social characteristics and “negative emotions,” than those who claimed to be neither spiritual nor religious.

Maybe it’s just what happens when Jones worships Jones.

Why do we need religion? Obviously many people are disillusioned by what they perceive to be corruption and hypocrisy of organized religion, including lots of scandal. Nothing new – scandal has been with us from the beginning. Not a reason to leave, but a reason to stay (or return) – how could anything other than the truth have survived so much scandal. “You don’t leave Peter because of Judas!”

Which brings me, of course, to a theme I return to often – find me a perfect religion and then join it, and I will too. Then it will no longer be perfect, because of the sinners (us). That’s the point exactly. When Jesus handed the keys to Peter, he gave them to someone who had just denied Him three times, and even cursed Him. He hand-picked an entire group of twelve misfits for a reason. We are too, and His actions and lessons, time, and time again, show us that not only is being human OK, it’s how He made us.

In Matthew 16:18, Jesus says to the apostle Peter, “You are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church.” Christians believe that in this verse Jesus is bestowing on Peter a position of authority from which the office of the pope is derived. But even if the “spiritual” Christian has problems with this belief, there is no escaping the fact that Christ intended his Church to be both visible and authoritative.

“But I don’t need to go to church to find God. I’m much closer to Him when I’m fishing or hiking than I do in any building.” (Ever heard this from a loved one?) I’ll grant you the benefit of the doubt and assume you wouldn’t just rather be “away.” No one disputes that our Lord is everywhere, and a beautiful sunrise and a speckled trout certainly testifies to His presence in the origin of the universe and its progression. But if you have a hard time finding Him with you when “two or more are gathered in His name,” perhaps the problem isn’t within those walls (just a possibility).

It is evident from Scripture that Jesus intended for community to gather regularly for worship. St. Paul wrote to the early Christians:

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching (Heb. 10:25).

This verse indicates that, even in the first century, there were Christians who did not think it was necessary to gather for worship. This runs contrary to the idea that one can be a church unto himself as long as he has accepted Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior. The Lord intended his Church to be a community.

It’s clear from the Bible that Jesus did not intend Christians to live out their spiritual lives in a vacuum. He founded a Church, gave it authority in the areas of faith and morals, and guards it from teaching error (Matt. 18:17-18).

There is, in fact, true evil in the world. And God. This is precisely the reason I’m glad there is also religion.

Christmas 2014, A Parable for Today

Posted on December 24, 2014 by dogtorbill | 1 Comment

A while back, I walked the Camino de Santiago as part of my grief healing process after losing my son. I had been informed, and found it true, that the spirituality, the soul saving energy of the Holy Spirit was “so thick there that you could cut it with a knife.” The love and fraternity penetrated every perigrino, the pilgrims there for so many reasons, with such affect and effect that even the social participants would be changed forever. Especially during the evenings at the albergues, the Spanish hostels for pilgrims, where sharing, toasting and camaraderie were evident. It was truly one of the highlights of my life – so much so that I would return back to operate my own albergue along “the way.”

And so, I saw myself working with such effort that I was exhausted each day. We decided to operate our hostel for no set fee, the pilgrim would pay what they could afford, a tariff called “donitivo,” or simply, donation of what one feels is worthy. At the beginning, it was like my first marathon – exhilarating at each day’s finish line, but so worth it that even my wife, who I pulled into this journey with me, felt this service fulfilling. But this calling began to take its toll. We certainly collected enough to pay our bills, as many donated much, much more than the 12 euro typical of most albergues with set fees. But day after day, week after week, year after year we were worn down.

Much like the decades of veterinary medicine I practiced, I loved the calling, the connections I made, the love and brotherhood I shared. I knew what I was doing was worthwhile, and made a difference in so many lives, but, still, after all the time, we were just weary. Some days turned into most days that I wondered if people cared how much effort was involved in what I did for them. And like the few that didn’t seem to appreciate my veterinary service, the traveler or two that didn’t express appreciation or even pay anything at all for the meal and bed that we provided began to hurt my feelings.

I grew indignant, such that I looked forward to the slow season, when fewer and fewer people would impose upon me. I was just plain tired. And so when November, and then December rolled around, I was so relieved. Imagine my frustration when, at the end of December, more tour groups came through and kept me at capacity for day after day, and now weeks of exhaustion. Every night, Sharon and I melted into our bed, only to be startled a few hours later to start it all over again. Preparing their food, and changing the linens on the beds that the next nights refugees would so appreciate.

And so that night, ever so memorable, began just like every other. It was cold, we were full, and the words came so easily – “sorry but we’re full – continue on to the next town,” where lodging might be available. But this was different. These travelers were so presumptuous, even inconsiderate. It was well after ten, and they thought there were vacancies? We had been full, and turning people away since 2 o’clock! But what was most inconsiderate was not the hour, but the condition of these travelers. He was old and clearly out of shape, and she was very pregnant. What the heck were they thinking, doing the Camino at all, in their conditions, much less when it was so cold. Their previous town had been well over 10 kilometers prior, how could he possibly expect her to make it here, and now … nothing for another 18 kilometers. They could never continue on.

I reminisced back to that night, forever ago, when I trudged ahead on my own first Camino, so cold and tired, only to find the fee for lodging I so desperately needed to be “cash only,” and more than I had remaining in my pocket. The tears were streaming down my cheeks as I was turned away, on to the next town, in the freezing driving rain.

This was precisely why I had no set fee – someone might need my help and not have whatever I wanted to charge. A donation of the travelers’ choosing seemed so appropriate. And this was, in fact, the tradition, a thousand years ago, when so many saints and sinners, including my favorite St Francis, had walked this Camino de Santiago.

It’s hard to put into words my appreciation, that first Camino, when just around the corner from where I had been turned away in that freezing rain, was a different albergue, one that wasn’t in the guidebook, that allowed me to stay for what I could afford.

Sharon startled me from those memories, when she whispered into my ear what I should have thought of myself as the weary couple turned and walked away in disappointment. “We’ll make room somewhere, they can even stay in our room, they’ll never make it to the next town. Besides, they’re probably also full at this hour.”

“Wait!” I shouted as they disappeared in the dark, “If you want to, you can sleep in with the pups.”

To help pay the bills, we raised boxer dogs and had a litter almost ready to wean in what used to be the garage. It was foul smelling of canine waste, and probably loud with whining and barking, but at least they would have a cover for the night.

I was surprised that my wife wasn’t happy with me. Apparently she was serious about giving up our own bed. She was nuts, there was no way I was going to go without, because of someone else’s lack of planning. I was tired, and had worked hard.

My heart was full of chaos, I was exhausted, and I needed rest for tomorrow. But there would never be another tomorrow. My life would be demanded of me tonight. And in my business, I had missed Him in our midst. I’d prepared my entire life for this very night, and yet my own lamp was without oil.

I failed to recognize Joseph as my brother.

But I had given them shelter. Wasn’t that good enough? Was it?

I’d never killed anyone or robbed, or cheated, or told any big lies. Wasn’t that good enough?

I had allowed the mother of my Lord to sleep with my dogs. How could I possibly know she would have the child that night? I hadn’t turned them away, had I?

Would you have?

And What If There is No Devil

Posted on November 23, 2014 by dogtorbill | 1 Comment

I’m friends with quite a few people that consider themselves, “spiritual, but not religious.”. Upon further prodding this normally means some form of “New Age” stuff – basically that God is within each of us, and as such we have no need of organized anything. If God is within, there’s clearly no need for communicating with the “heavens,” or that “divine dimension.” No, prayer consists of emptying oneself completely of all the “human stuff,” so all that remains is divine. We effectively become our own god. Much like those who “cherry pick” what they like to believe is right or wrong, we attend the “church of me.”

And so with this moral relativism it’s a natural progression to deny the existence of the absolute. I’m a pretty good person,” or “at least I don’t do such and such” becomes the new standard, and there are no inherent rights and wrongs. “Don’t judge me” is the new mantra, and we are therefore forbidden to refer to Natural Law. The best ideas of Plato, Aristotle, and Cicero, Cumberland and Locke, our own John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, and certainly Augustine and Aquinas. Notice my omission of uniquely religious figures; these are philosophers of genius, who maintained that there is, in fact, absolute right and wrong, irrelevant of cultural and societal norms. So let’s throw out 2500 years of philosophical contemplation and wisdom, because so many people in modern society find the truth inconvenient, shaming, and esteem lowering.

When the trend of culture, or even within our individual consciences (or lack thereof) has no “standard,” setting the bar for right and wrong becomes completely arbitrary.

Likewise its quite trendy to deny the existence of “evil.”. I’m not talking about “doing” what society considers “evil things,” or even “being an evil person.” Again, when we are allowed to “set the bar” in different places, standards of behavior become contrived and arbitrary.

No, I’m actually referring to evil. Evil is not simply that passive void created in the absence of “good.”. Evil is a very real thing, a very active albeit insidious force that has been just as present as it was two thousand and ten thousand years ago.

And so – Most of us would agree that Oliver Cromwell did evil things when he massacred the Irish civilians in Wexford, and when the suicide bomber boarded the bus full of Israeli children, and when a man in charge of children commits pedaphilia or pederasty. However, it’s quite different to say there was an evil force guiding and driving these feeble minded to justify what they did. They aren’t simply confused, brainwashed, or even sick. Consciously or unconsciously, they participated with something truly sinister.

I’m neither naive nor an an idiot. I realize the whole idea seems absurd if you don’t believe in the existence of an absolute “good,” and in turn, the existence of God. Much like Paul’s description of the “foolishness” of the cross to those who believe they will simply perish, but the “Power of God,” to those who are confident of salvation (1Cor 1:18).

Nor has this moral slide happened suddenly. It’s been with us forever, And I think I’ve actually witnessed so many subtle, insidious instances of this slide of my culture before my very eyes. When I was a little kid, comedian Flip Wilson had us in stitches when his character Geraldine claimed “the devil made me do it” every time she did something wrong, and so it became a laughing matter. We clearly recognized it as facetious, Geraldine obviously was shirking her own accountability, and caricaturing the devil as a cartoon character. And who hasn’t conjured up the mental image of “the devil,” with cute little curved horns, a fork, dressed in a red leotard, and joking about the heat. As a child, I was probably in that costume one Halloween. You see, of course, the theme here – cartoons, jokes, funny.

In Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis makes this point much more eloquently than I can, as the elder devil, Wormwood, advises his nephew apprentice:

“The fact that “devils” are predominantly comic figures in the modern imagination will help you. If any faint suspicion of your existence begins to arise in his mind, suggest to him a picture of some¬thing in red tights, and persuade him that since he cannot believe in that (it is an old textbook method of confusing them) he therefore cannot believe in you.”

And if there is no Satan, no Prince of Darkness, no “evil spirit,” what of evil? Is evil a “positive” thing (actually something that exists), or simply the absence of good, a (void)?Clearly evil exists, but is it a “something (a power unto itself),” or a “nothing (like darkness in the absence of light)?”

I suppose being a 14 year old boy in 1973 Missouri when The Exorcist first played (Blatty’s version of real events surrounding a very credible possession in St. Louis, starring Linda Blair) made me really pay attention and fascinated me. Having been raised a Roman Catholic, I considered the whole premise plausible, and found these otherwise inexplicable events actually faith-strengthening. And the fact that Catholic priests are called in during these situations, as “the authorities” provides a subliminal affirmation that the Roman Church provides the most dependable road home.

So, to me, although scary “as hell,” I consider it a real thing. I realize that philosophers and theologians much smarter than I have also explored this question and come to both conclusions. Its easy to see how those in Auschwitz, My Lai, and Syria might feel much more confident with such first hand knowledge. But what about the 12 year old girl who is bullied? The 15 year old driven to self-destruction because of gay bashing? The woman beaten to a pulp by her prince every time he drinks? Is this darkness simply the lack of light?

One of the most emotionally powerful arguments against the existence of God is the “problem of evil.” People say that if God is all knowing, all powerful, all good, why does evil exist?

That drove me to bash my head against the wall for about ten hours, trying to read and understand what the best and brightest for thousands of years have said reconciling the existence of evil with an omnipotent, loving moral God. From Buddhism, Pessimism and Zoroastrianism to Christian Scientist and Jehovahs Witness. From Aristotle, Origen and Epicurus to Schopenhauer and Leibniz. Eckhart, Birmingham, and even Nietzsche. Gnostics and Deists, Monism and Pragmatism.

Frankly all I learned was that everyone knows that no one knows. Actually that this is another one of those things that humans just can’t know. Not that we should stop the great search for truths. On the contrary, this is exactly why we should continue to learn and explore and dig and think deeply.

I do find myself leaning towards Thomas Aquinas:

The existence of evil functions in the perfection of the whole; the universe would be less perfect if it contained no evil. Thus fire could not exist without the corruption of what it consumes; the wolf must slay the deer in order to live; and if there were no wrongdoing, there would be no need for the virtues of patience and justice. Let’s assume God did author evil in the sense that the corruption of material objects in nature is ordained by Him, as a means for carrying out the design of the universe; and on the other hand, the evil which exists as the consequence of the breach of Divine laws is in the same sense due to Divine appointment; the universe would be less perfect if its laws could be broken without punishment. Thus evil, in one aspect, i.e. as counter-balancing the attraction of sin, has the nature of good. But the evil of sin, though permitted by God, is in no sense due to Him; its cause is the abuse of free will.

Therein, St. Thomas proposes his explanation (apparently logical and sufficient to him) as to why God permits foreseen moral evil. Why would God, foreseeing that His creatures would use His gift of free will for their own injury, proceed with the plan, and not keep them (us) from misusing this “gift,” deny the gift altogether?

St. Thomas comes to the realization that God cannot change His mind, since the Divine will is free from the defect of weakness or instability. Such fluidity would be a defect in the Divine nature (and therefore impossible), because if God’s purpose were made dependent on the foreseen free act of any creature, God would thereby sacrifice His own freedom, and would submit Himself to His creatures, thus abdicating His essential supremacy—a thing which is, of course, utterly inconceivable.

In other words, I think, “It is because it He has willed it.” The great I AM.

What if There is No God?

Posted on November 7, 2014 by dogtorbill | 6 Comments

Yeah, Yeah, I know lots of folks are pretty sure its all a “fairy tale,” and God doesn’t exist. Although most of the people in “my bubble” are pretty convinced that there is a god, I’m well aware that many seemingly good, nice people do not believe.

In the Mayberry I grew up in, we all did. And we were all Christians. I met my first Jew when I was 12, at Camp Zoe – he was singing “If I Were a Rich Man,” from Fiddler on the roof, and I remember he had a box of candy under his pillow and was really funny, but must have been homesick, because he cried in bed every-night. A few years later Pentecostal classmate accused me of not being a Christian when she discovered I was Catholic, and I didn’t really have a reply. I was pretty dumbfounded that she could think such a thing. But it urged me to do some research so I did have a reply when a similar remark was made at an Amy Grant Concert ten years later. Only in a college “comparative religion” class was I really forced to consider other world religions, and even atheism.

I got an “A” in the oral argument/debate/logic half of the class, but barely passed the assignment effectively requiring us to “admit” the absence of any proof of god, and that all religions are effectively absurd. (In fact he used that word). I spent my thousand words explaining very logically how “absurd” it was to consider such a complicated world as this could exist without a creator directing the very beginning, and the course of nature – evolution, if you like. I got a C on the thesis, with only a comment that it was a shame that I hadn’t paid any attention to him all year long. (That kind of arrogance smacks of the recent movie, God’s Not Dead.

Anyway, I’m a big boy, and I realize lots of smart people think they have everything figured out, and so they have no proof for “God.” I’ve sparred online lots of times, cause although I HATE big confrontations, I still like a well thought out and reasoned dialogue. But I continue to be floored when someone looks me in the face, and tells me, in person, that they don’t believe in the existence of God.

So there I was last week, in surgery, where I solve most of the world’s problems, when someone (I’ll call her Sara) walks into the conversation I was having with someone else about theology (imagine that!), and matter-of-factly says she doesn’t believe in God. Nope, she and her brother decided it – they were convinced that there is no God.

So, of course, I was more than a little surprised, and the room was eerily quiet sans life monitoring beeps from three machines. Finally, my gay technician broke the silence, with an astonished, “REALLY???” “So you consider yourself an atheist???!!!” She puffed her chest out and reiterated that she was quite sure. He just stood there shaking his head, saying he wasn’t convinced we had all of Christ’s teachings just right, but he was positive there is a God, and that He helps him constantly.

The best I could come up with was, “So the fact that the existence of God hasn’t been objectively proven to you, is proof enough that there is NOT a god?” Afraid that I was setting a trap, she hesitatingly said, “Yeah, I guess.” My mind and my heart wanted to take her a hundred places, with a thousand experiences, seemingly revelations for me. But in a right-brain/left-brain flash of a second, I realized these were personal revelations, and there would be no possible way any of this information could be useful, or convincing for her. Pascal’s wager came to mind, but I realized that souls are never saved by winning an argument. No, besides it was probably also inappropriate banter for an employee/employer type relationship.

She said lots of people have tried to show her the error in her thinking, but this apparently just seem to strengthen her resolve. “Yeah, ha ha, I’ll probably get sent to hell, but I just don’t believe it. When you die, its over. That’s it. Nothing after.” I was horrified at the thought. Really? Nothing after? Then what’s the point? Indeed, there would be no point.

I told her, my own leanings were closer to, “we choose” to be in God’s presence, or to be away from Him, based on our beliefs and how we live our lives. It seemed like a good starting place to begin, and end this conversation. To plant a few seeds, and do my best to “act” like a Christian. Isn’t that the best evangelizing? So they’ll “know we are Christians by our love.”

But then Sara continued, “But why does everyone have to shove their religion down my throat?” Glad that I, in fact, had elected not to do that, I mused. But then I replied to her question.

“Suppose you and some others you really care about, your family, were all exposed to Ebola, and the cure had been discovered, and was available in Sikeston, MO, and free to anyone who got there in time. Well you know where Sikeston is, because you have a map. You’re convinced the map is accurate, and so, again, you are positive that you know how to get to Sikeston. Isn’t it loving to tell your family how to get there? In fact, wouldn’t you be a selfish jerk if you saw someone headed on the wrong road, towards Dallas, or New York? They might be able to get to Sikeston via these other places, but isn’t it most loving and compassionate to share your knowledge with people you care about?”

Before she could doubt the accuracy of the map, I quickly added, “Whether or not it can be proven that the map is correct is irrelevant; you asked why someone might be compelled to ‘shove their religion down someone else’s throat.’ Even if they’re wrong, they’re doing it out of love. They want to save someone else’s life, and they personally are positive they know where the cure is. They might have even taken the same road, and even “gone to Dallas,” only to realize they were so fortunate to get a “do-over.” Many don’t. So it makes it a bit easier to “swallow” when we realize it’s really out of love that this is done, and that you’d be a bit of a jerk if you didn’t care enough to share.

Why not “live and let live,” and “coexist?” Suppose you see your neighbor pull out of his driveway with his coffee-cup or phone on the roof of his car. Don’t you care enough about him to wave and yell at him?

This conversation was “about a week ago,” and clearly I’m still thinking about it. What exactly is our level of responsibility to our “neighbors?” Do we let them head towards Dallas, when they may die of “the virus” before they realize there’s nothing there to save them? Do we let the coffee cup smash to the ground? And who, exactly is my neighbor?

I read a FB post a few days ago condemning “imposing our religions” on our children. “Let them wait until they’re adults, and can decide for themselves.” I’m so thankful my parents did such a horrible thing to us, so I could in turn do so to my own. I believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that “imposing my parent’s religion” saved my son Cullen’s eternal life. Indeed, at the end of the day, at the end of our days, nothing else matters. That’s the point.

But what makes me squirm, and probably why I’m sitting down on a Friday night with a couple of IPAs in front of the keyboard, is another question. It’s nothing new, and I’ve read much more intelligent people than myself discourse about it. What if someone could and did prove that there is no god. How would that affect life? Clearly I have no idea how others would respond, but how would I respond?

I mean, really – do I try my hardest to be a good person and to live a loving life only because Jesus of Nazareth was killed for telling me to do so? Is His staying on the cross to bleedout and suffocate the epitome of self-sacrifice as an example that there is no greater love than to lay down one’s own life for those who hate? Or what if the Discovery Channel’s special a few years ago really had opened a tomb and found Jesus’ bones? Would this be “proof” that He did not resurrect and ascend? Or what if Paulkovich is right and Jesus never even existed as a historical figure?

Clearly I’m convinced these are absurd assertions. Paulkovich is an engineer, and probably reasonably intelligent, but from what I’ve read, no smarter than me, and definitely dwarfed by two thousand years of theologians who have devoted lifetimes to prove, and many attempted to disprove, this very thing. And what of the thousands of early Christians, especially the apostles who were killed because they refused to recant the story. Don’t you think even one would have if it had all just been a big lie? And if even one did admit to the big lie, wouldn’t other religions of that day (and this day) have held them up as “proof?”

But again, let’s just, for argument sake, query this. What if someone could and did prove that there is no god. Is it a coincidence that every civilization and every culture has an idea of god? Why is this so important to humans? Is there this “space” inside each of us that only God can fill, and so we do our best to do so? Is it relevant that Christianity is the only world religion based on a real historical person?

How would I respond? How would you? Is it even possible for someone of deep faith to imagine their world without? And what is our responsibility to others? Are we truly “in it alone?” Or are we our brother’s keepers?

I always post all comments, but please be civil and respectful.

Election Day, August 2014

Posted on August 26, 2014 by dogtorbill | Leave a comment

Over the course of the past 2 months, I have fielded dozens of calls and messages from associates and old friends offering me support for my election campaign. Of course, I’m not running for anything, despite the name on the ballot. I’ll repeat, I am NOT running for Brevard County Commissioner in District 4.

I did quite a double-take the first time I drove by one of “my” roadsigns. I’ve waved to him numerous times as he stands at the intersections holding “my” signs in an attempt to garner support. Sometimes I even honk enthusiastically, even though the likelihood of success in a field of seven is anyone’s guess. I just hope we don’t get embarrassed, with like 3 votes. And in the long-shot that I do win, I surely hope I’m not a crook! Heck, I can make myself look bad all by myself! I don’t need some other guy making it worse. He probably thinks the same thing as he sees the lines of people waiting to see me on Saturdays. “Crap, I sure hope that vet knows what he’s doing!”

I realize this is all quite silly, and my wife Sharon thinks I’m nuts. “Just last night, she said, “Babe, you do realize you’re not running, right?”

So what’s in a name, anyway? What if your reputation really did depend on someone else? I imagine Daddy looking down at me, with his brow furrowed much of the time, wondering just what the hell I think I’m doing. He shook his head in bewilderment, and thought we were so different when he was alive. Mostly, I hope he’s smiling because lots of my good stuff come from him, I think now he’s OK with those things we were so different on. I hope he’s happy with how I’ve carried his father’s name, with the reputation, the image our family name is remembered with.

And of course, I was Mom’s baby boy, and so I could do no wrong in her eyes. Now that she has her Beatific Vision” of Heaven, she sees right through me! I’m embarrassed at the times I look back and did the wrong things. I was so relieved that she didn’t know; I didn’t want to disappoint her! Now she’s laughing out loud – of course she knew all along. Somehow she pointed me in the right direction, guiding me to get back up and learn from my mistakes, without even letting on that she knew everything I was up to.

Good parenting requires knowing your children. An insightful father knows his children long before they know themselves.

And I’m quite sure my son Cullen also watches us. You know that feeling you get when you’re “alone,” but you just feel someone watching you? I get that all the time. Sometimes I lose my cool or get short with someone, or say something out of frustration, and I swear I can hear him laughing at me, saying, “That’s my dad!” But other times, when I find myself correcting someone’s close-mindedness or bigotry, I get really warm all over, and I smile. I realize that I’m not the same man I was, and I hope he’s proud of me, because so much of what’s better in me is because of him.

I also think of my Heavenly Father looking down on us. One of my contemplations involves the Trinity looking down at our globe, and discussing how things have turned out. Are they pleased with us? I’m unable to judge others through Their eyes, so I’m just talking about myself, and mine. If I call myself a Christian, I’m representing Him in everything I say, and do. Of course I don’t hold myself to this standard of perfection, but others may hold me accountable.

As a visible Christian, I am the only Christ some people will ever see. In that context I carry a huge responsibility. Of course I’m just a human with all human weaknesses and failings, but to many that I encounter, I represent Church, and all things Christ.

Regardless of whether or not Gandhi actually said the words, lots of people claim he said, “I don’t reject Christ. I love Christ. It’s just that so many of you Christians are so unlike Christ.”

I can only imagine Jesus looking down at us, shaking his head in frustration, at one time or another, in frustration. Just like my parents.

So again, what’s in a name, anyway? What if your reputation really did depend on someone else?

Which reminds me of a prayer led by a Jesuit mentor:

Most of all, Lord, Let nothing that I shall ever do, serve to keep any of my brothers from finding you.

Much Love.

What I learned about my father from a Jewish Girl

Posted on June 15, 2014 by dogtorbill | 2 Comments

I look back at college days at Mizzou and think I was a pretty typical frat boy. But I was never really that typical. Once, when everybody else was trying to get the hookup talking about classes and what they do for fun, I distinctly remember talking to Diane Bau about theology. I suppose it’s not a surprise to any of you that this was never an area I considered taboo, even with a Jewish girl.

So we were about four beers into our TGIF mixer, and I vividly recall her astonished look when she repeated what I had just revealed to her. “Seriously? You think you should be good because you don’t want to go to hell? That’s why you try to avoid sin?” I thought it was a good thing. And admirable. And I was apparently proud that I was considered myself “religious.” And considered myself pretty righteous, in the midst of all these jerks that just wanted to get laid. I was better than that. Haha, right. I puffed my chest out and was a hypocritical Pharisee. I’ll leave that alone for now, because at 19, of course I wanted that also.

Anyway, she was simply incredulous, and genuinely fascinated that this was a Christian’s philosophy. I asked her why that was so surprising. I was proud that I believed in God and hell, and therefore wanted to do what was right. She looked at me with deep, dark olive eyes and said, “So the reason you try to be good is because of fear? Why not be good out of love, because God is your Father and He loves you, and that’s why you love Him?” I don’t remember whether I was surprised, or embarrassed, or oblivious, but I do remember that conversation like it was yesterday.

So here’s the funny part of the story. I dated Diane Bau for weeks before I learned that she had an identical twin (and I do mean identical!). I did think she was pretty moody sometimes, and really, really acted differently on some dates, but I pretty much wrote that off because she was just drop-dead gorgeous in an exotic, ethnic kind-of way. Anyway, about the time I really started digging her (them), she (they) informed me that she (they) was kind-of into me also, so she (they) really should stop going out because I wasn’t a Jewish guy. I was kind-of (really) insulted. This was my first experience of being discriminated against because of my professed religion.

But here’s the deal.. The girl was right. I was catechized by a Jewish Girl. Truly this is the essence of our relationship with our heavenly Father. And since today is Father’s Day, it does seem like a pretty cool day to remember this story.

This is also “Trinity” Sunday, and I imagine the three of them looking down at Earth, and the Father saying with such disappointment, “They still don’t get it. They simply don’t understand how much we love them. He looked over at His Son and motioned down to us and said, “One more time. This time let’s not just tell them about our how we want them to live, lets show them how to live, how to love. Let’s show them what love is. Our Father motioned over to Jesus and explained, “You go down and love them. Show them how much I love them, what love is.”

Diane was right. It never would have worked out. Her “father” would not have approved of me. Although I was surrounded by it all of my life, I realized it, what love “is” much later in life. I never really knew my father when I was growing up. Either of them. I do now. And how much he loved me, they both love me, in ways I only now can understand.

Pentecost with Cullen – Speaking in Tongues in Haiti

Posted on June 9, 2014 by dogtorbill | 1 Comment

Yesterday was Pentecost, which will always remind me of this story:
The next morning found us walking a hot dusty road to the school that served the entire area. Hundreds of children wore blue plaid uniforms that were crisp and clean. Amazing. They take great pride, we were told, in sending their children to school clean and well put together, as a form of family pride. The children were all over us, but especially Noah and Cullen. I doubt they had ever seen white children before, and everyone wanted to hold hands and touch their strait hair. We arrived as they were beginning religion class, and were asked if we wanted to read to them out of our bibles; Pastor Beau and Kirby would interpret, line at a time. I was a bit embarrassed to realize that I didn’t know an appropriate passage to look up and read. I remembered the time Jesus was inundated with children, and the disciples were upset with them, sending them away, to which Jesus replied, “Let the children come.” How I wished I could remember where that was, because it seemed so appropriate now, as we were each about 50 deep with these beautiful children. So I blindly opened the book, initially disappointed to not have the Holy Spirit guide me to that very verse. Beau was interpreting each phrase, with the animation that would have looked like he was using sign language.

Soon my voice cracked as I read aloud the passage that I had turned to, Mark 9:36

36 And he took a child, and put him in the midst of them; and taking him in his arms, he said to them, 37 “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me; and whoever receives me, receives not me but him who sent me.”

Not exactly the verse I was looking for, but even better – I’m pretty sure my opening the book here was no accident. (By the way the “Let the little children come” verse was actually amazingly close to where I had opened to (Mark 10:13)

Life is sometimes funny, and humility is so much more beautiful than pride.

I turned from my exuberant group, all jumping up and down and shouting for me to notice them, to the other side of the room to tell Cullen what a cool “coincidence” it was for me to “find” that verse, and I was stunned. Cullen’s group were all silent, staring intently at him, captivated by something. I moved through dozens of children to get closer. Instead of interpreting every his every line, Kirby was standing staring at Cullen also. I have no idea what verses he was reading, but one thing was clear. My son was reading out of his English bible, but the words that came out of his mouth were in Haitian Creole. My eyes then met Kirby’s, as we both mouthed the same word, “Wow.”

From then on I got it. I’ll never be the same.

(This is a shortened repost of a two part Recollection from last year of time spent on mission in Haiti. For the full version, click here).

Join my 2014 Camino – La Voie du Marie

Posted on May 11, 2014 by dogtorbill | Leave a comment

Follow my 2014 Camino to Lourdes at http://www.caminowithcullen.wordpress.com

Not Alone on my Camino

Fourteen year old Bernadette Soubirous was the poorest of the poor. Her father was unemployed, having been pushed out of his job as modern advances made his profession obsolete. The entire family of six existed in the single room that had years ago been abandoned as unfit for the village’s jailhouse. The stench of the town’s overflowing sewage was overpowering, but the family was literally destitute, and at least had a room together where they could huddle around the fireplace. Bernadette had been sick much of her entire life, with her asthma resulting in chronic respiratory disease. Malnutrition, the cold weather, and lack of medical care was taking its daily toll on her. She had missed more days of school than she had attended, and as such could barely read, the homely girl was labeled “simple” by her teachers, and teased as “stupid” by her classmates. She was poor white trash of her day.

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“This saying is hard; who can accept it?”

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